There are things I wish were different about my childhood. Things I wish my parents had spent more time teaching me, and honestly, that could be a whole different post.
But one of the biggest is this:
I wish someone had taught me what to do with fear.
From preschool through second grade, my mom enrolled me in a wonderful Christian private school. Even now, there are things I remember from those years. The thing is, my family wasn’t very religious. Did we believe in God? I think so. But we didn’t go to church on Sundays. We didn’t pray before meals. We didn’t really talk about God at home.
That little Christian school was probably the closest thing I had to building a relationship with Him as a child. But no one really taught me how to trust God when I was scared. No one taught me how to hand Him my worries. How to pray when my mind wouldn’t stop. How to remind myself that God was bigger than whatever I was afraid of.
So, for a lot of my childhood, and even into adulthood, anxiety felt like a battle I had to fight on my own. And anxiety is exhausting.
When I became a mom, I knew I wanted something different for my daughter.
She’s four now, which means her imagination is growing by the day. She’s curious about everything. And with all that imagination and curiosity have come some new fears.
Monsters under the bed.
Things hiding in the closet.
And apparently zombies, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot shield this child from everything.
One night before bed, she was having a hard time because she was scared of monsters. As I was talking her through it, I remembered the little Scriptures I have written and tucked away throughout our house. Verses on walls, above doorways, and in little places you might never notice unless you knew they were there. I showed some of them to her. I explained what they said and, more importantly, what they meant.
God is here. God is with us and we can talk to Jesus when we're afraid.
She understood, and she felt safe again.
A couple of nights later, she was lying on my bedroom floor when I noticed her looking around. She was searching the walls. Then above the door.
She was looking for Scripture.
Our bedroom had recently been painted, so I hadn't written any in there yet. Instead, I handed her my little pocket Bible. I explained that it was full of God's Word. Full of the things Jesus wants us to know.
She took that tiny Bible, placed it beside her, and eventually fell asleep right there on my bedroom floor.
And I just looked at her. She knew what that Bible represented. She knew where to look when she was afraid. At four years old, she didn't need some complicated explanation of theology. She just knew Jesus made her feel safe. I felt emotional, proud, grateful, and honestly a little overwhelmed by the moment. Because I realized I was watching something happen in her childhood that I desperately wish had happened in mine.
She was learning where to take her fear. “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
I can't promise my daughter a life without anxiety. I can't make sure she never feels scared, worried, uncertain, or overwhelmed. As much as the mom in me would love to protect her from every single thing that could hurt her, I can't. But I can teach her what I wasn't taught. I can teach her that fear doesn't have to be carried alone. I can teach her to pray before the worry grows louder. I can fill our home with reminders of God's Word. I can show her that when her little heart feels afraid, she has somewhere to go with it.
And maybe that's one of the most important things we can give our children. Not a childhood where nothing scary ever happens, but a foundation that reminds them where to turn when it does.
So now I have one more thing to do, apparently my freshly painted bedroom needs a Scripture. 🤍
