Almost two years ago, I felt God pulling me closer to Him.
But I also felt Him calling me to bring other moms and women along with me, especially those who felt far from God or didn't know where to begin.
So, I listened.
I started sharing my faith journey. I started this blog to share my life, my struggles, and my walk with God. I created resources and tools that were helping me grow in my own faith, hoping they could help other moms who felt just as lost as I once did.
For months, I worked hard at it. Then, somewhere along the way, I started to question myself.
Who am I to guide other women when I am still learning and growing myself?
Who am I to give advice or teach anyone about Christianity?
I wasn't perfect. I didn't have all the answers. Some days, I didn't even know where to start. What should I study? Where in the Bible should I read? What was God trying to teach me? There were even days when I didn't open my Bible at all because I felt lost, overwhelmed, confused, or simply exhausted.
I was a first-time mom and a wife trying to figure life out myself. So why would anyone want to listen to me?
And, like so many of us do, I started believing those thoughts.
I let myself believe that because I wasn't far enough along in my faith, I wasn't qualified to share it.
So, I slowly backed away. I stopped sharing. I stopped reaching out to the other moms and women I originally felt called to serve.
Instead, I spent months searching for something else. I tried different paths. I looked for other opportunities that I thought might fill the space in my heart or help me find my purpose.
But nothing really stuck.
Deep down, I knew something was missing. Nothing felt genuine. Nothing felt like it was truly me or what God had called me to do. So, I went in circles for months.
Trying new things. Feeling discouraged. Feeling defeated. Constantly asking God to guide me and show me what I was supposed to be doing.
Then, last month, I started feeling that nudge again. The same nudge I had felt almost two years ago.
I started thinking about the calling I had walked away from. And slowly, I began to realize something.
God already knows where I am.
He knows exactly where I am in my life. He knows where I am in my faith. He knows what my relationship with Him looks like. He knows my doubts, my struggles, my questions, and all the areas where I still have so much growing to do.
And He still called me.
Maybe I don't need to have all the answers. Maybe I don't need to be an expert. Maybe I don't need to be years ahead of the women I feel called to reach.
Because there are women who may be just one step behind me. Women who feel lost and don't know where to begin. Women who want to know God but don't know how to start. Women who feel discouraged and are thinking about giving up. Women who feel far from God.
And maybe they don't need someone who has everything figured out. Maybe they need someone who understands what it feels like to be where they are.
As a follower of Christ, I believe we are called to help others know Him and grow closer to Him.
Even when we feel unqualified.
Even when we are still learning.
Even when we don't have all the answers.
So, this is me choosing to obey.
I am still learning. I am still growing. I am still figuring things out. But maybe that is the point. I don't have to wait until I feel qualified to share what God is doing in my life. I can grow and bring other women along with me.
That is what I feel God calling me to do.
To share my journey honestly. To support other moms. To build a community where women can come as they are, with their questions, doubts, struggles, and imperfect faith.
I want this to be a place for the woman who feels behind. The woman who feels like she should know more than she does. The woman who opens her Bible and doesn't know where to start. The woman who loves God but feels distant from Him. The woman who feels imperfect and wonders if she is doing any of this right.
Because I have been her too.
And honestly, sometimes I still am.
But I'm learning that God doesn't ask us to have everything figured out before we obey Him.
Sometimes, He simply asks us to take the next step.
So, after months of running in circles and trying to find another path, I am choosing to come back to the one I believe God placed on my heart from the beginning.
I'm choosing to obey. I'm choosing to share. I'm choosing to grow.
And if you feel lost, imperfect, behind, or unsure of where to begin, I hope you'll stay and grow with me.
Maybe you don't have to have everything figured out either.
Maybe you just need to take the next step.
With love,
Shelbs
